Going Haole Wood

In 2000, before roller derby was born again in Austin, TX, I dressed up as a derby skater for Halloween. I went light on the protective gear (such a rube!), but there was a helmet, sparkly shorts and spandex involved. Not to mention roller skates. I drunkenly shot the duck on sidewalks in front of several Tempe house parties that night. It's a move that has no practical application in the world of roller derby, but who cares? The costume was a big hit.

It's hard to top an awesome costume. I wanted to be a roller derby skater every Halloween until I actually went and joined the derby four years later. I'm afraid that's how I'll feel about my costume from this past Halloween.

Me as Flying Ace WWI Snoopy accompanied by J.D. as Charlie Brown from the It's the Great Pumpkin. Big props to J.D. who labored for hours on my doghouse.

Snoopy digs bananas!

In other news, I'll be piloting my doghouse to Honolulu on Friday for a flat track track game. I'm captain of a rogue team called the Haole Woods, and we're taking on Hawaii Pacific Derby in an exhibition match during Girl Fest Hawaii. Post-bout, I'll be sticking around the north shore of Oahu for a few extra days with some members of the Beer Committee. Former Fight Crew skater Jihad came out of retirement to skate this game, and I look forward to some grabbing sun, surf and Hawaiian brews with her and the rest of the BC.

I really hope my news glasses are ready tomorrow (thanks to the fine selection and excellent costumer service at Gogosha Optique). Though it may seem counter-intuitive, I don't want to vacation sans specs -- even if I am hitting the beach. I loathe wearing contacts.

And finally, I was kind of on Oprah yesterday. Watch Ali's Dare Devils take on the L.A. Derby Dolls here. The episode was all about "stepping outside your box," and I think we gave these ladies a shove in the right direction.

better late

Bad News First:

I snapped my glasses in half last night. I was stupidly squeezing the frames, trying to make them fit my face more snugly, and they cracked apart in my hand. I guess I don't know my own strength. And it's probably ill-advised to squeeze your glasses anyway.

Chrome Hearts frames, 2006-2009, R.I.P.

I began a hunt for new glasses a few months ago, which I sort of abandoned when I lost patience trying to find the perfect pair. Looks like the hunt is back on.

I am wearing contacts today and I feel naked.

Good News Second:

Photo by Charlie Chu/Shutterthug.

Fight Crew won the game on Saturday, 101-88, which is an incredible way to end the season. We were 12 or 13 points ahead when Haught Wheels went to the line for the final jam of the night, and it would've been miracle for the Sirens to score enough points in that jam to tie or win the game. As Haughty plowed through the pack, I watched from the infield with a smile so big I thought my face might crack. She didn't stop skating until the game clock hit zero, and the moment it did, she brought her hands to her hips and the expression on her face said: "Fucking finally." This was our first regular season win since 2007, and I think breaking our losing streak will be a huge psychological boon to the team going into 2010. I'm really grateful that Haughty joined our team as co-captain this season, and though it took three games for the Crew to finally get its shit together, I think her leadership and focus has been instrumental in our turnaround.

Here is a bout recap from a guy who had some nice things to say about this girl.

And here is a great photo montage from LADD photographer Stalkerazzi:

bad at this, again

I accepted some freelance work about a month ago that has hindered my blogging productivity. I'm also skating for two travel teams (went to Tucson last weekend and I'm flying to Hawaii on Nov. 7th). Oh, and my team is playing its last game of the season tomorrow night and you should come!

But yeah, I've been kind of busy.

Here's the press release I wrote this morning (distributed internally to members of the Beer Committee):

Witness the epic Battle of the Brewsers! Fight Crew's BEO, Lägeraison, & Beerbrarian face off against the Sirens' Brewologist. It's our last game of the season and the Brewologist's LAST BOUT EVER. The Beer Committee's very own Pilsnerd will greet you at the door with a self-adhesive wristband. The neon hue of said wristband connotes VIP or general admission.

Post game festivities will feature BEER.

I can't decide if it's to Fight Crew's advantage or detriment that our roster is so BC-heavy.

it begins

Monday night, 6:30pm PST, derydolls.tv presents an all-star celebrity event featuring:

- a sneak preview exhibition of Tough Cookies vs. Varsity Brawlers
- an exclusive performance by recording artists and Whip It star Landon Pigg
- a Q&A with the cast of 'Whip It' live from the middle of the LADD banked track, and you can ask questions of Drew, Ellen, Juliette, Andrew Wilson and others directly from our chat room!

FREE and LIVE from the comfort of your own home on derbydolls.tv

And if you want to get up close and personal, there's a game Saturday night. Get your tix here.

Couple's vacation captured in photos and police log

Something I like to do when visiting a small town is to find the local newspaper and subject my traveling companion to a dramatization of the paper's police log. So here I give you a few choice pics from Big Sur and Monterey accompanied by excerpts from the Carmel Pine Cone. Reporter Mary Brownfield is a new favorite writer.

Carmel-by-the-Sea: A citizen on Dolores Street attempted to grab onto an object to maintain his balance prior to crossing the street and lost his balance after his hand slipped off the object. The citizen slid to the ground but did not sustain any injuries. CFD and CRFA responded as a precautionary measure but were informed by the citizen that he was not injured and he had no complaint of pain. The citizen advised he fell as a result of losing his own balance.

McWay Falls, Julia Pfeiffer Burns State Park.

Carmel-by-the-Sea: Fire engine and ambulance dispatched to Scenic and Eighth for a hazardous condition. There was a report of a hot air balloon on fire traveling over the area of San Antonio and Eighth, headed east. Crews searched the area but were unable to locate.

Yurt interior.

Carmel-by-the-Sea: Female roommate reported an unwanted person visiting her roommate on Seventh Avenue. Roommate and unwanted person contacted, and roommate advised the mentioned person was not unwanted.

Carmel-by-the-Sea: Report of littering and minor property damage to a tenant’s unit on Mission Street that was previously reported. Contact was made with a party who may have leads. This was met with negative results.


Garrapata State Park.

Carmel area: Man reported that someone went inside his residence at Valley Way and Highway 1 during the night and stole a bottle of vodka.

Carmel-by-the-Sea: Citizen called to report being verbally harassed by the manager of a restaurant on Sixth Avenue. She was offended because the manager came out of the restaurant and asked her to pay her bill. She has an agreement with the owner that her daughter will receive free meals up to $200 a month. The manager stated there was no longer an agreement regarding free meals and verbally assaulted her outside the business. Citizen was concerned with the tone and the words used by manager. Citizen’s daughter was in vehicle and citizen believes daughter may be affected by words used as they were detrimental toward her husband, who had committed suicide. None of the language was threatening, according to the citizen. She stated it was only rude in nature and inappropriate.

Cell reception not-so-good in Big Sur.

Carmel-by-the-Sea: Person called the police department to report losing his wallet last night while visiting Carmel Beach. A brief description of the wallet was provided. The person was advised to call police if the wallet was found. At 1700 hours, the person called the department to request to cancel the report. Person said he found the wallet at a nearby restaurant he dined at last night. Nothing further.

Garrapata State Park.

Carmel area: Report of a suspicious note.

Biker Bar in Carmel Valley.

Carmel-by-the-Sea: A 32-year-old subject was located lying asleep in the middle of the street at Santa Rita Street and Fourth Avenue next to his bicycle. The subject had vomited all over himself and was under the influence of alcohol. Subsequent investigation revealed the subject in possession of a small amount of marijuana.

Organic garden, beer in hand, Treebones.

Carmel area: An adult male in Palo Alto reported his 15-year-old daughter ran away from home. After receiving the report, the responding party received a telephone call from the juvenile and agreed to pick her up in downtown Carmel.

Beer Committee Report: Zeno Supper Club

On Tuesday night, the Beer Committee held court at the Zeno Supper Club, an event described on their web site as:

"a social experiment to see what happens when you bring interesting people together with food, drink, and a creative environment. Through webisodes that are based on cooking lessons with 'Top Chef' Lee Anne Wong, the Zeno Supper Club will explore broader themes like environmental activism, buying local, living in a sustainable community and alternative transportation."

The BC's very own Beermonger (and only non-Derby Doll Committee member) is a Zeno chef and resident Beer Expert.

Other Brewsers in attendance: BEO, BE-Co, B-EMT, Beerbrarian (moi), Pilsnerd, & Brewologist.

Appropriately, Zeno's theme for the evening was Action Sports and the event was sponsored by Stone Brewing Co. It was as if the night had been custom tailored for the BC's athletic, albeit beer paunch-burdened, bod.

In the spirit of the Supper Club's commitment to alternative transportation, and given the athletic-themed evening, and knowing that we would be doing some serious brew-chugging and face-stuffing, the B-EMT and me opted to ride our bikes from Hollywood to Venice. We arrived on the scene sweaty, frizzy-haired and a little winded from the trek -- though, IMO, the most convincingly athletic-looking of the dinner guests. We were also very hungry and thirsty.






Yes, the food was good, the brews were tight, and the Committee even scored a tour of Stone Brewery (date TBD), whose CEO was in attendance and is the newest L.A. Derby Dolls fan.

Lessons learned: Do not drink good beer from a plastic mug (even a 2006 hot pink LADD Championship mug -- it will taste funny). Also, the ride back from Venice, uphill, is slightly more strenuous when you're toting several bottles of Arrogant Bastard in your messenger bag.

where are you going, where have you been?

Labor Day weekend found me in Kansas City, KS for a traditional Hindu wedding where JD was a groomsman. Yes, traditional Indian buffet made an appearance.

My impression of Kansas City is mostly limited to the various freeways connecting the Kansas City International Airport to the Sheraton Hotel, which is where we stayed and where the ceremony, lunch, cocktail hour, dinner, and reception were held. I also spent a reasonable amount of time in the Sheraton's fitness center between festivities.

The ceremony was two hours long and conducted in Hindi. An excerpt from the program:

In Tamil tradition, the bride and groom sit together on a swing and married women from the families circle rice balls around the couple in circular motions and walk around the couple four times while holding a lamp. This rite is believed to prevent evil forces from disrupting the wedding ceremony.

JD with the bride and groom, Maya and Chetan:

JD and I at the reception with much-photographed Ganesh ice sculpture:


Summer's officially over but I'm not done vacationing. On Sunday morning, we're hitting the road again, bound for a yurt in Big Sur.