Friday, September 7, 2007

bon voyage!

my bike gang, the Pedalphiles, depart for europe on monday. here's a quickie rundown of the itinerary: we're riding from london to brighton, then brighton to portsmouth. from there we'll take a ferry to caen, france, and we'll spend a few days riding and taking the occasional train through normandy to paris. we'll have a few days in paris before we split up: chris & crystal back to london (and then crystal back to the u.s.); jesse to germany; and me to amsterdam and the hague to meet up with kathy, where we'll attend this thing.

i somehow wound up planning our route and schedule (somehow = no one else was doing it so i figured i should). the pedalphiles had a meeting last week where i presented the gang with three possible itineraries (everyone got their own handout), and then we took a vote. in case you guys didn't know, i am a total fucking nerd, and as evidence i present the introduction i wrote - the first page of the handout, which was distributed to the gang members.

The Pedalphiles Ride Europe!


Christopher S. as “The Artiste.” Armed with a digital camera, and prone to trailing adorable woodland creatures off the beaten path, Chris’ wanderings lead the gang up several trees and down a couple of rabbit holes. Whether there’s a bunny or a beaver in Christopher’s viewfinder, you can bet heartwarming misadventures will abound!

Judy Gloom pulls double duty as the “Voice of Reason” and “A Raisin in the Sun.” Watch her freckles multiply on-screen as she settles disputes, and tells the gang how it really is! Don’t miss the dramatic final scene when she receives her doctor’s diagnosis of skin cancer. Thank goodness for French socialized medicine. A real tear-jerker!

With a cameo by Jesus AKA Jesse AKA Baby J as “El Machino.” Appearing only briefly as a brown blur who utters the single line, “See you in Paris!” watch Jesus leave his companions in the dust.

And our heroine, Crystal Deth, as the “Smoking Cyclist,” who pedals all over France in search of cannibis and Champagne in a Can. Crystal ultimately saves the day as the only Pedalphile who knows how to ask, “Where's the party at?” in French. Oooh-la-la!

With a special guest appearance by Elliott M. as “The Loner.” Content to ride solo, Elliott takes pity on the hapless Pedalphiles in England, and shows the gang a thing or two about riding on the wrong side of the road.

i'll be back on the 26th! ar of ar!

Thursday, September 6, 2007

breaking technology news

i am the proud owner of two imposing, noisy, deadly serious computers. both are dual opterons, raids with a shit-ton of disk space. they are relics from a previous job, and up until recently, both have served me well.

about a month ago, however, both started acting funny, and my Computer Guys speculated that it might be an electrical problem in my apartment. my babies require lots of juice. so, while my Computer Guys try and get to the bottom of things, my dear friend kathy was kind enough to lend me her laptop.

hey guys, i have an announcement: laptops rule!

when i wake up in the morning, i don't even need to get out of bed. i can just reach down, grab the ol' laptop and get to business. a revolution in my bedroom!

another groundbreaking development is my discovery of multitasking. my roommate is fond of camping in front of the television with an ibook in her lap - a habit i have long regarded with suspicion. not anymore. i now realize that tv and laptop is a dynamic duo in the same league as peanut butter and jelly. my total daily procrastination (tdp) has been cut in half now that i've learned to double up on time wasting. this is efficiency is action.

my loaner laptop keeps me informed. she will hang out in the kitchen and broadcast "all things considered" while i wash dishes. i've tried this with a radio in the past, but i can never get decent reception.

also, have you guys heard of this thing called "wireless internet"? i don't have it, but someone nearby must because i'm always online, yet not encumbered by an irritating ethernet chord.

my ex, ed, is really fond of using his laptop on the toilet. that doesn't sound terribly hygienic to me, but it's nice to know the option exists in a pinch.

ok, i know i don't have a job right now, but i really want to get one of these laptop things. are they expensive? they're the best! all you guys out there should think about getting one too. it will change your life!

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

i have arrived

check out my ass on the defamer.

this pic is fairly representative my most recent game, during which i spent more time on my ass, knees, stomach, et al than i did skating upright.

i also badly injured my ankle on the infield. during a timeout.

it was the second worse game in my derby career - the first being a bout almost 3 years ago, the second i'd ever played, where my skate got caught under the lip of the track, and actually came off. twice! in one game.

needless to say, my team lost, but we did it with style. it was a close game throughout, and the crowd was loving it, which is the most important thing.