temporary tattoo artists

Monday night, Mila Minute and I hit the red carpet on roller skates for a booze-tasting party in Hollywood. A winery in Paso Robles (trying to market itself as the Pabst Blue Ribbon of wines) is working out a sponsorship arrangement with the Dolls. They hired Mila and I to pour their vino and apply temporary tattoos (bearing the winery’s logo) on party-goers tipsy enough to believe temporary tattoos are either cool or a good idea, ever.

We showed up in our uniforms and skates, and in addition to talking up the winery’s flagship red zinfandel to those who stopped by our table for a taste, everyone wanted to know more about the Derby Dolls. The league has a game on the 30^th, and naturally, neither Mila nor I brought fliers to promote. A few phone calls later and Tilda Whirl came to the rescue with promotional materials in tow.

“Have you seen the latest flier?” I asked Mila while we waited for Tilda to arrive. We were standing behind the table, munching on stinky cheeses and intermittently sipping our glasses of merlot, cab and zin. “It’s me! I'm flier famous.”

“That’s you on the flier?” she said. “Really? I thought it was me.”

“No, it’s definitely me. It’s obvious if you’ve seen the photo it’s based on.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, definitely.”

“Because I really thought it was me.”

“I’m telling you! It’s me. Just wait until Tilda gets here. She designed the flier. She can settle it.”

Meanwhile, the general manager of the winery stood with us behind the table, witnessing our egos do battle. We make the Diva Jammers look humble.

(when Tilda pulled up to the club, she said to Mila (without any prompting) "Did you know that's Judy on the flyer?" It's based on this photo by Charlie Chu).*

In the world of signature derby moves, skaters like Mila and Krissy Krash have the rocket whip and the leg whip. Judy Gloom, the Charlie Brown of the banked track, will forever be the skater who’s skates fly from her feet mid-jam. It happened again over the weekend at the Big One Tournament. As my skate soared into a cluster of ACDG spectators, I heard the very kind Cherrylicious attempt to make me feel better: “That’s totally happened to me too!” she hollered from the crowd. What she didn't realize is that it’s the fifth time it’s happened to me.

To my credit, after frantically lacing up my skate, I still managed to score on that jam, so maybe those 2-minute flat track jams aren't so bad after all.

And I’ve got new skates coming in the mail.

If you’re feeling like a road trip, Fight Crew is playing a flat track game in Bakersfield on Saturday. Let's hope none of those Bakersfield skaters try to eat my eye on the track.

Also, check out my recent guest blog over at The State I Am In. It’s supposed to be about cooking, but Georgia turned it into a tribute to my awesomeness. I’m not complaining. Georgia is my friend, and an amazing one at that.

*addendum to the wine-tasting event: Guess who woke up the next morning with her arms covered in temporary tattoos? Temporary tattoos are not as temporary as one might think. I wore long-sleeves to the library that day.